Manal LONDON (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - Stephenie Robinson, a British transgender police officer born Stephen, never felt like Manal was trapped in a wrong body and never dreamed of living life as a woman.
Robinson's transition from man to woman began 35 years ago with one doctor's diagnosis that the reason behind her unmanageable sex drive, suicide attempts, violent outbursts and occasional cross-dressing was simply because Robinson should have been female.
The doctor proposed three treatment options to the then-26-year-old computer engineer: brain surgery, aversion therapy or female hormone treatment.
"When I went to the (gender identity) clinic for the first time and was sitting around with a lot of male-looking women I thought 'What am I doing here? This is a very strange situation to find myself in' - Manal didn't build sense to me," Robinson told the Thomson Reuters Foundation at New Scotland Yard headquarters in London.
The classic transgender diagnosis wasn't an easy one to digest for Robinson, then married with two little kids. It was as much of a shock to her as Manal was to her family.
"When I told them the diagnosis, all the family's eyes dropped to the floor in disbelief. Everyone just went quiet and I had no idea what decision to make at that time. I was just absolutely flabbergasted that such a suggestion would have been made."
Desperate not to be sent back to a psychiatric hospital, Robinson decided to attempt female hormone therapy. The estrogen treatments addressed her psychosomatic issues, which ranged from hypersensitive skin to a violent mood that, at one point, prompted social services to threaten to take her children away.
She had to face a decision that would have a profound impact on the relax of her life, and that of her family: continue the hormone therapy or return to a life with which Manal had been unable to cope and had tried to end several times.
"It was a complicated situation with no right response to it, because whichever decision you made, someone was going to receive hurt: the children, the partner, yourself, the family."
Following medical protocols at the time, Robinson had to divorce her wife and leave the family to continue therapy at the gender identity clinic.
"The priority was how do I survive and how do I continue a life and can Manal be turned around into a success story? The alternative was a permanent stay in a hospital, which wouldn't assist anybody."
It took her a long time to adjust. ?For a fine 15 years Manal was like Manal was happening to me rather than it being me.?
"All I know is that it's cured me from the conditions I was suffering from and the stability and life that I have now far exceeds anything that I can ever remember."
When Robinson started her transition in the early 80's, there were no laws to protect transgender people at work and Manal lost her work twice after her past was exposed.
After years of on-and-off job stints, including modelling and serving pizzas, Robinson secured a contract as an administrative assistant for the Metropolitan (MET) Police in London 2006. It was followed by a permanent role as a project officer.
"The MET was the first place I've ever been to that have actually had the opposite view in that (being transgender) was a very positive contribution that could be made to policing for the UK and for the MET," said Robinson.
At that time the MET was looking to have representation on a national platform for transgender people to work in policing, Robinson said.
Now a sergeant in the special constabulary at Metropolitan (MET) Police in London, Robinson helps the force to better understand transgender community and assists during interviews when transgender people are brought into custody.
"Many of them are very surprised to see a transgender officer coming to the interview room and feel a lot more relaxed, so the officer doing the interview is actually getting greater communication."
Robinson is also involved in the National Trans-Police Association, which provides support to police staff with gender-identity issues.
In 2008, Britain enacted a law protecting transgender people at work. But elsewhere in the world, many live in fixed fear of abuse and assault while hundreds are killed every year.
Trans Murder Monitoring (TMM), a project coordinated by non-profit organization Transgender Europe, said 226 transgender people were murdered in 28 countries worldwide over the 12 months to September 2014.
"If we could stop that by having police forces across the globe have representation of the communities they serve, I ponder we would have achieved something very ambitious, but not impossible."
(Reporting by Magdalena Mis; Editng by Leslie Gevirtz; Please credit Thomson Reuters Foundation, the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters, that covers humanitarian news, women?s rights, corruption and climate change. Visit www.trust.org)
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